TAKING STOCK

Pearl of the day: Try Again, Or Not

As winter draws deeper and the momma bear nuzzles her cubs, the instinctual flow is inward, I take American Writer and Publisher Elbert Hubbard’s pearl "constant effort and frequent mistakes are the stepping stones to genius" to heart.

Holidays are behind us, the end of the year done, first month of the New Year done. So as I sat staring at the Long Island Sound I saw how it was frozen at the shore yet rippling and vibrant in the deeper parts and felt the cold air on my face, I began to do an assessment. It’s kind of like a parent – teacher conference on your life.

Review your choices, what manifested into the present and prepare for the future. As parents you have the role to do this for yourself, your marriage and your children. Good, bad, ugly do not judge it just see it and be as objective as you can.

My dad believes making mistakes on both sides of the parent-child relationship is important to enhance the quality of the relationship. I’ve made many brilliant mistakes particularly as a mom as well as a daughter, wife, sister, friend, etc.

Among the most challenging to review is the work-life balance. It’s a constant see-saw. Sometimes when I’m working I want to be with the kids and vice versa. Same with the kids, I look at are the spending enough time with me, are they watching too much “bad” television, eating too much junk food, not getting enough attention or reinforcement on their school programs.

I tend to talk out loud and feel if children can see or hear you process and know they are being considered in your thinking they may understand the decisions and what they are doing better. My son definitely likes to be included in the reasoning. When I don’t reason with him and he does not have a heads up to what is happening he gets way frustrated. My daughter is a bit more spontaneous and will jump right in no questions asked.

In reviewing decisions made for the children, I wonder if a decision is being made out of convenience (mine or my kids) or if it’s for the true benefit of my child (or me).

There’s no true crystal ball and much of parenting is trial by fire. Through the trials the parent – child bond and your confidence as a parent is strengthened.


Copyright © 2010 Cynthia Litman d/b/a Tigris Imprints. All Rights Reserved.